How to Forgive
“Forgive” is often a trigger word for anyone who has suffered trauma. We hear that forgiveness is more for us than the other person, but why does it hurt to forgive?
We’ve been conditioned to believe that forgiveness is letting someone off without punishment or that they are free from responsibility for their actions. In fact, what forgiveness really does, is free us from their power, the control of their action/actions that put us in pain and suffering to begin with.
To forgive is not letting someone off the hook. Instead, when you forgive and let that person go, to release them and say “You have no power over me. You didn’t have permission then and you don’t now. You mean nothing to me. I am important to me. My sanity and well-being is more important to me than you are. I withdraw any power you had over me, my health, my safety. You cannot hurt me ever again. I do not allow it.” Replace the pain and fear with love and 100% acknowledgement and acceptance of who you are at this moment, for better and worse, and move forward with only unconditional, non-judgmental love for yourself.
Anyone else that has judgment or blame about you will also no longer be allowed to do that, because you value yourself. They are not worthy of judging, blaming or hurting you either. Let it go. Let them go, with compassion. Embrace yourself with even more compassion. Let the healing begin. 🙏💖🙌